To Wear Shoes, or Not to Wear Shoes

...Wear shoes.

I have only tried once, so far, to play with the dogs outside without shoes.  I hobbled back in with burs in my feet that literally drew blood.  Howdothefreakin'dogsdoit.

For my fiance, who we shall call Tesla, the clear answer is also to wear shoes, even inside.

Actual conversation:

Me:  "Hey, can you grab me (whatever) from the fridge?"

Tesla:  "Sure."  *wanders off*

Tesla:  *wanders back*  "You had better love me."
Me:  "Okay, I love you.  Wait, why?"

Tesla:  "Because I just got you that without putting any shoes on."

Me:  "...Okay?"

Tesla:  "In spite of the fact that I could have been stung by a scorpion."

XD

When he isn't wearing his shoes, he keeps them four feet above ground, so scorpions don't get in them.  Considering we've only seen one scorpion so far, it was tiny, it didn't sting him, and we basically made it rain bug poison around the whole house, I feel like he probably isn't in a huge risk category for being stung/eaten alive by scorpions.

It's damn cute, though.

-MM

P.S. - Today, my dog brought us a vertebra bone.  I no longer think all the bones in our yard are from scraps/dog chew toys.  It...was almost the size of my palm.  My dogs don't dig...but now I'm wondering if they have managed to find a long-gone family pet or something...

Ew.

I'm the White Lady.

We broke the shower head.

Well, specifically, my fiance broke the shower head.  Itwasn'tmyfault.

It was a bendy one, designed to rain down on you.  He bent the neck to adjust it and *snap,* it decided it was only going to wash the wall from then on.  Sooooo...to the hardware store we went!

Actually, the one we picked out is AWESOME.  But anyways.

On our way home from shopping, we closed up the gate and let the dogs out to run around a little bit.  I decided they were stinky and used our also newly-purchased garden hose and nozzle to wash them off a little bit.  Then I hear a barking, and suddenly both dogs are bounding top-speed to the gate, flinging water everywhere.  I chase after 'em, terrified the little dog who won't stay the hell out of our yard was going to pick a fight she couldn't win, but to my surprise it was the neighbor's puppy, and it wasn't being mauled.  Despite all the barking, both dogs were enthusiastically sniffing and wagging at the small dog, but the poor little (stupid) puppy was yipping like it was dying a slow and painful death (I guess it WOULD be scary to have two dogs two or three times your size sticking their faces up in your business...).  I grabbed puppy and put it on the right side of the gate again, corralled my girls back inside, and went back to unloading the car.

A few minutes later I hear "but that white lady said I could come play with her dogs whenever I waaanteeed" float up over the fence.

To my neighbors, at least, to my 7 year old neighbors, I am that white lady.

Sweet.

-MM

Now It Smells.

When my fiance went out to put something in the car he spooked a skunk.

Now our cars are stinky.

Pretty sure this is still better than the neighbor's dog.

-MM

P.S. - I can't tell if I'm more excited that I have a real mailbox and don't have to use a key, or more bummed that I have to walk down the whole street to get it. Or psyched that I get to walk down the whole street to get it.

I have complicated feelings about our mailbox.

Welcome, and Hello!

Let me start by saying welcome!


Until a couple weeks ago, my fiance and I lived in apartments.  Three, to be exact.  Our last one was a 3 bedroom that started out with a LOT of promise - big windows facing a wooded creek/ditch/thing, great layout, all well and good.  The company that was renting it was...well...terrible, but we'd deal with it if it meant an awesome place to live, right next to bunnies and fishies and what-have-you.


It flooded a total of three times, that we knew of, with the last one so bad it destroyed the floor and anything of ours that was within four inches of the ground.  We spent a week evacuating everything and barely sleeping, crashing when we could at a motel, with about a billion phone calls to the management, the insurance company, friends and family, the electric and water company, freaking everyone.  It was pretty much hell.


Luckily, we'd been considering a house a friend of ours was offering for rent for the same price - a three bedroom real house on half an acre, outside of city limits.  We'd both wanted badly to get out of the city (I've always wanted Nigerian Dwarf goats, and this seemed just perfect), so with no other options, we went for it.  We both come from families with farming pasts, so we didn't anticipate we'd have much trouble adjusting...but let me tell ya, it is DIFFERENT.  Different-good, but different-different.


It's quite different.


So, this is here, so you can laugh at us as we adjust to our new style of living and all the experiences along the way!




To start off, let's cover what we've encountered so far:

• The place down the road makes the most amazing fried burritos...but nobody knows what's in them.
• We have the most gigantic roaches of all time, and no amount of poison seems to keep them out, leading to some truly gross...encounters...  I am pretty sure they are teenage mutant ninja roaches.
• The window on the front of our home is broken and we've taped up a garbage bag to keep the AC in/creatures out.  It's very There I Fixed It.
• We are now on septic.  SEPTIC.  I always wanted to be on septic, but boy do I have some adjusting to do.  Like with what goes down the kitchen sink.  And what goes down the bathroom drain.  And what gets flushed.  And where to put heavy things/dig in the back yard.
• Either the last resident enjoyed throwing bones of all sizes to their dogs (that left a zillion deadly holes all over the place), or...many a creature has died out here...bones are everywhere.  My dogs are very good at finding them.
• Since obtaining a yard, I have determined that my lab must be part greyhound, and that my pit can't keep up with her.  Neither can I.  See video at the end of the post!
• Holy shit I can NOT keep the neighbor's tiny dogs out of my damned yard.
• Holy shit it is so hard to not hit the neighbor's tiny dogs while driving anywhere in the vicinity jesuschristdotheyhaveadeathwish.
• I am living MUCH greener.  Because there is no trash pickup or dumpsters out here.  Guess who's gonna learn how to compost and will start recycling?
• Internet is a god damned luxury and we don't have it.
• My neighbors are rednecks.  All four houses of them.
• It's oddly comforting that the only noises I hear thumping around above me at night belong to four- or six-legged creatures.  It's like camping.  Except that everything would rather be inside with you than outside where it belongs.
• I rescued my behbeh from a vicious, man-eating scorpion.  He was going to shoot it with mace.
• I picked it up with a tupperware lid.

Well...that's about all that's happened so far.  We have a huuuge list of things to do before we are really settled, but I'll keep ya updated! 


O ya, video of my doggy running like a frikkin' racehorse on cocaine:








See y'all 'round!
-MM